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340.txt
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2005-02-10
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One of the most popular kinds of books or articles in our day is the kind that
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offer a diagnostic checklist to tell you if you fit into certain categories. You can
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check a few boxes and find out, for example, if youΓÇÖre in good health, or if youΓÇÖre
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financially stable or teetering on the brink of disaster, or if youΓÇÖre being a good
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parent. It seems there are checklists for everything in the world, including a book
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called
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How to Know If YouΓÇÖre a Redneck!
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In case youΓÇÖve been wondering about that, IΓÇÖll give you a few indicators to help
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clarify that for you.
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1. If, when your front porch collapses, it kills more than three dogs, you might be
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a redneck.
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2. If you own a home that is mobile and five cars that are not, you might be a
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redneck.
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3. If youΓÇÖve ever been fired from a construction job due to your appearance, you
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might be a redneck.
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4. If youΓÇÖve ever hollered, ΓÇ£Rock the house, Bubba!ΓÇ¥ during a piano recital, you
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might be a redneck.
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5. If you stare at a can of frozen orange juice because it says, “Concentrate …”
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6. If you have to think about that last one … !